Rachel gets a promotion and the chance to hire her personal assistant. She selects the inexperienced but attractive Tag Jones over someone more qualified. Unfortunately for her, Tag is more interested in Phoebe. Joey is happy over starring in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. and gets the chance to return to Days of Our Lives. Monica, Chandler and Ross share embarrassing secrets about each other.
Tropes:
- Cannot Spit It Out: The friends don't have the courage to tell Joey that they think Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. sucks, which leads to him getting a big head and arrogantly refusing to audition for his return to Days of Our Lives.
- Competition Freak: Chandler offers up the Potty Failure secret to Monica, in order to learn what turns out to be a very mundane, far less interesting secret about an old co-worker of Phoebe's.Monica: That's right! You lose, sucker! [realizing] Please still marry me.
- Distracted by the Sexy: Phoebe and later Rachel press their breasts against Joey to get out of telling him what they think of his show Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.. It's Joey, so it works.
- Escalating War: Monica and Chandler start sharing each other's secrets, which in Chandler's case means revealing an embarrassing secret about Ross. When Ross finds out, he shares his own dirt on Monica and Chandler in front of them, leading to all three letting out all sorts of secrets about each other in an attempt to embarrass each other.
- Even the Guys Want Him: Chandler reacts to a photo of Tag by letting out a "W-H-Wow!" which he immediately asks Rachel and Phoebe not to share with Monica.
- Potty Failure: Chandler tells Monica that Ross once crapped himself on Disneyland's Space Mountain as a result of eating ten tacos from a dubious street grill that was being run out of the trunk of someone's car.
- Pretty Boy: Rachel describes Tag as being so pretty it makes her want to cry.
- Pronoun Trouble: Rachel doesn't want to admit to Phoebe that she chose an inexperienced but hot man as her work assistant over an experienced woman that Phoebe expected her to pick, so she tries to avoid using any names or pronouns by telling her that "my assistant was very happy that I hired... my assistant".
- Stylistic Suck: What little we see of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. involves the robot saying a really lame punchline before an "Everybody Laughs" Ending ending in an award freeze-frame. The robot prop itself is also clearly a low-budget effort with a face straight from the Uncanny Valley.
- Unsettling Gender-Reveal: One of the secrets about Chandler is how his attempt to pick up women at a bar resulted in him making out with what turned out to be a guy.
- Worst. Whatever. Ever!: While discussing Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. amongst themselves, the others try to sugarcoat things, but Chandler outright calls it one of the worst things ever.Chandler: And not just on TV.
