Low Count Gag - TV Tropes

Civil War veteran, and creamed corn enthusiast.

Cliff: Call all my friends.
Norm: I think he moved.

— Cheers

This sort of joke subverts the audience's expectations by revealing that the amount of something is much less than typical. A band or TV show or movie's fanbase might be accurately referred to as "both of them", or a nation's air force might turn out to be just one person. A political party consists of three people. A prepackaged meal advertised as a full dinner in a big container turns out to be just a single piece of fruit. This is usually hilarious. Or sad. Or hilariously sad.

For a trope that is similarly insulting by separating something into a smaller group, see My Friends... and Zoidberg. Amusingly Short List also mines humour from subverted expectations and a comically small number of items on the list. Comically Small Bribe, Critical Staffing Shortage, Decided by One Vote, Down to the Last Play, Election Denial, Oddly Small Organization, Only One Finds It Fun, and World's Shortest Book are related, especially if these tropes are Played for Laughs. If the real number is extremely large, it's Not Hyperbole, and if someone asks "how many?", and the answer is All of Them, it goes in that trope.

Compare Recent Event Nostalgia, Unimpressive Progress Reveal.

Examples:

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Anime & Manga

Ishura: Played for seriousness. The Twenty-Nine Officials of Aureatia have 4 factions. The two major factions are the Reformists and the Militarists, then there's minister Kaete's faction who favors an industrial revolution, his faction is made of himself and General Haizesta. Still they're better off than the Queen faction. This faction of loyalists to Queen has only one member, General Dant.
The Way of the Househusband: Immortal Tatsu and a rival Yakuza decide to settle their differences in a duel. A Cooking Duel, specifically, with the winner decided by how many people like the Instagram photos of their food. Tatsu wins...with a single like...from his wife.

Comic Strips

A collected edition of The Perishers strips opens with a Dramatis Personae for new readers which says that "established readers (bless you both)" may skip it.
Andy Capp: In one strip when discussing increasingly low turnout of supporters at one of Andy's football matches, his wife says at the latest one the "crowd" wore a fawn raincoat and a cap.
This Drabble strip:
Ralph: Wow! I lost half my Twitter followers overnight! What's going on here? This is very suspicious!
Norman: How many followers did you lose?
Ralph: One.
June: Sorry, dear. I just don't find you that interesting.
Calvin and Hobbes: in the October 19, 1989 strip, Calvin proposes that his father pay him money for good grades in school, which higher payouts for better grades ($1 for every D, $5 for every C, $10 for every B, and $50 for every A). Dad turns this down, causing Calvin to lament, "I thought I could make an easy four bucks."

Fan Works

Total Drama All-Stars Rewrite:
- As the hosts are freaked out by Sierra’s demented nature, Chris tells Chef that for the next season they should bring the more saner contestants… but considering the show, it would be a very small cast.
- When Owen, Noah and Chris are about to be dropped in an acidic pit by the feral Ezekiel, Owen tries to reason with him by thinking about all the good times they had. Ezekiel thinks about it… and spits acid on the rope they’re on, inching them closer to the pool.
  Noah: It’s Zeke, dude! There aren’t any good times for him!!!

Films — Animation

Over the Hedge: The forest animals are awed at the sheer size of an SUV, which RJ states humans ride around in because they're slowly losing the ability to walk. When asked how many humans can fit in such a massive thing:
RJ: Usually... one.
A sad example occurs in Toy Story 3 when we see that Andy's immediate toy family are all the toys he has left.
Woody: Slink, gather everyone up.
Slinky: Uh... we are gathered, Woody.
Judy Hopps of Zootopia has had a miserable first day on the police force, and microwaves herself a prepackaged TV dinner of carrots. The box image shows three sizable, succulent carrots. Adding to her very bad day, she overcooks the meal and the result is one shriveled, unappetizing carrot when the foil is removed.

Films — Live-Action

The Blues Brothers: Bob's Country Bunker.
Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got Country, and Western.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife: Podcast identifies one character as "my subscriber".
Life of Brian: After going through a list of rival resistance movements against the Romans, it is revealed that one such movement has only one member.
Francis: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
Reg: He's over there.
Small Soldiers: Alan's mother asks him to empty the cash register. There is a snarky joke about not enough cash in it.
Mrs. Abernathy: Did you empty the cash register?
Alan: Both quarters and all six pennies.
That Thing You Do!: Lenny snarks after a band performance in a restaurant after a teen comes up to ask if he can buy a copy of "That Thing You Do".
Lenny: Hey, wasn't that our fan?
X-Men: Days of Future Past: At one point, Beast proudly shows Wolverine a gadget he cooked up that can receive and record every television network in the US simultaneously. Thing is, they're in The '70s, so to Wolverine's astonishment, the number of networks is... three... and PBS.
In The Three Stooges short Restless Knights, a call is sent out for the royal guard... which turns out to consist of just one man.

Jokes

There was a fire at the (local municipality) library. It was tragic. They lost both books. (Usually followed with "One of them wasn't even colored in yet.")
A Low Count Gag punchline is used to highlight high textbook costs, stating that there was a theft at the campus bookstore, with losses initially estimated at tens of thousands of dollars, but both textbooks were recovered.
An inverse version of this claims a Poundland warehouse burned down, destroying stock worth tens of pounds.

Literature

Discworld: The tiny country of Lancre has a standing army, except for when he's sitting down.
The Phantom Tollbooth: "The entire police force of Dictionopolis arrived, loudly blowing his whistle."

Live-Action TV

31 Minutos: Used to calm down Policarpo after he's spent the whole episode freaking out about being revealed as bald mid-broadcast. He decides to let things pass after being told the program has zero viewers at the moment, including their only regular. And they're lying/wrong; his baldness makes international news during the credits roll.
Tulio: Our only viewer has their TV off? [to camera] MOM, WHERE ARE YOU!?
ALF: In one episode, Alf imagines becoming a stand up comedian. One of his only jokes is that the Melmacian library burnt down. They lost both books.
'Allo 'Allo!, a Brit Com set in the Nazi-occupied France:¨
- The British airmen talk to British agent Crabtree and complain about being stuck in France, blaming Michelle's resistance group for being ineffective. Crabtree says they are indeed dissatisfied with de Gaulle's resistance people, hinting that even the Communist resistance has more going on. The airmen don't want to join Communists, though, and ask Crabtree about a liberal resistance. Crabtree retorts that yes, there is a liberal resistance, but he's in bed with the flu.
- When the Germans and the visiting Italian officer are discussing the heroes of their respective countries, the Italians fall decidedly short: "Our names will go down in the history books alongside the great German war heroes of the past!" — "Or the great Italian war heroes!" — "Him too."
- During one convoluted scheme, Colonel von Strom, Lieutenant Gruber and Captain Bertorelli get caught by the Communist Resistance. René convinces the resistance leader not to shoot them and hold them to ransom because General von Klinkerhoffen will pay for their release. The German officers are worthy of one million francs. The Italian captain? Ten cans of beans.
Arrested Development: When Tobias attempts to argue that being a Never-Nude is perfectly normal.
Tobias: There are dozens of us. DOZENS!!!
The Big Bang Theory:
- "The Loobenfeld Decay": Penny is an aspiring actress. She's replacing a girl in a workshop production of RENT. It's a one-night showcase, but they invite a lot of casting people and agents, so she hopes for a big break. She's not a good singer though, and there is a low count joke about the audience.
  Leonard: Why don’t you tell me about your showcase last night?
  Penny: Oh, it was okay I guess, wasn’t a big turn out but they both really seemed to like it.
  Leonard: There were only two people there?
  Penny: By the end. Yeah.
- "The Retraction Reaction": Leonard is doing a radio interview about breakthroughs in physics. The interview is not going so well as he keeps mentioning there are no new exciting discoveries, only stuff people expect to find and prove, but nothing new yet despite huge investments in new equipment. His friends are worried that he shouldn't say that in public. Howard jokes that not too many people listen to public radio.
  Bernadette: Should he be saying that?
  Raj: Uh, probably not.
  Howard: Yeah, this is public radio. Doesn't he realize that dozens of people might hear him?
- "The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization": The gang attend a physics convention.
  Howard: I just checked the house. There must be twenty, twenty-five people in there.
  Leonard: You're kidding.
  Penny: Is that all?
  Howard: All? In physics, twenty-five is Woodstock.
Blackadder:
- "Dish and Dishonesty" from Blackadder the Third parodies the politics of rotten boroughs during the Regency period, and the commentary is amusingly dry:
  Vincent Hanna:^note Good evening and welcome to the Dunny-on-the-Wold by-election. The first thing I must tell you is that the turnout has been very good. As a matter of fact, the voter turned out before breakfast.
- The third season finale, "Duel and Duality", has another when Blackadder asks his Scottish cousin MacAdder about his "mighty army, the clan MacAdder".
  MacAdder: They're both well.
The Brittas Empire: Occurs when Helen is called up in Brittas' trial in "The Trial":
Prosecutor: Would you describe your husband as a wealthy man?
Helen: Well, not really. He gets a bonus on his salary for every hundred people through the doors.
Prosecutor: And the bonus last year?
Helen: Um, I don't think there was a bonus last year.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine:
- "Old School": Detective Jake Peralta boasts of having read 15 books. Detective Amy Santiago, ever the competitive cutie, mishears and claims that 50 books is not a lot, then realizes the actual number and is confused.
  Jake: It's the best book I've ever read, and I've read 15 books.
  Amy: 50 books is not a lot. Wait... You said 15?
- In "Fancy Brudgom", Terry, Amy, and Gina go on a very 'scientific' diet, despite them all being in perfect shape, as Captain Holt points out. All the meals are pre-planned and delivered. For example, the breakfast consists of an orange wedge, three cashew nuts, and a solitary grape. Another meal is a single baby carrot (the container says "ingredients: carrot") or one almond.
- In "Skyfire Cycle", Jake and Terry collect signatures as part of an investigation by posing as a pair of fans running a petition to have a female dragon in a fantasy book series changed into a male:
  Jake: There are already enough girl characters, we don't need a third!
Cheers:
- Cliff's mother gets engaged and he decides to throw a party.
  Cliff: Call all my friends.
  Norm: I think he moved.
- After going out on a shopping spree with her boyfriend Robin Colcord's money, Rebecca struts into the bar and says she wants to gab "with all my girlfriends". She immediately makes her way over to Carla and forces her to talk with her.
The epilogue of Chernobyl is a rare case of this not being Played for Laughs but for Drama (and possibly Horror as well), when it mentions at the end that the official death toll from the accident and subsequent disaster established by the Soviet Union, unchanged since 1987, is 31. Throughout the series the Soviet state is shown as caring far more about appearances than actually helping affected citizens or containing the damage — in particular to the death count, the Soviet Union forbade listing any cause of death relating to the accident beyond the initial explosion on victims' death certificates. Estimates of deaths by outside sources, including those who died due to radiation-induced cancers across Central and Eastern Europe, range from 4,000 to 91,000.
An episode of Community has the election for student body president see eleven votes cast, out of a school that has at least a few thousand attendees. This makes it a landslide victory for a write-in candidate that saw seven votes in favor: South Park. As in, the TV show.
Doctor Who: In "Doomsday", it's Played for Drama when the Daleks attack the Cybermen in Evil Versus Evil plot. And the claim about four Daleks being deadlier than five million Cybermen isn't an exaggeration, either.
Cyber-Controller: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyber-Controller: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyber-Controller: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!
An episode of Down Home had Kate running against Wade for mayor of Hadley Cove. Wade quickly resorts to attack ads and Kate's eventual response is to admit to several bits of wrongdoing so he has nothing to base his attacks on. This has the effect of thoroughly disgusting the townspeople. Afterwards, Grover comes to Kate and tells her that she won the election two-to-one. Kate's quite shocked to hear that people actually voted despite the mudslinging. That's when Grover pulls three ballots out of his pocket and reveals that two-to-one wasn't the ratio, it was the actual vote count.
In Frasier episode "Good Grief", an unemployed Frasier hears he has a fan club that wants to protest his show being taken off the air. He has a large buffet ready for them — and it turns out there's only three of them. After telling Frasier they intend to stop traffic with a rally, he's understandably mortified.
Frasier: I can't let them do this rally. Three kooks marching round in a circle, you know what that'll do?
Niles: [deadpan] Make them very dizzy very fast.
In The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Carlton is lost for some reason, and they decide to call his friends. "I'll call one, you call the other one"
Friends:
- In the episode "The One Where They're Gonna Party", Monica announces that she's filling in for a newspaper food critic, Chandler is unimpressed...
  Chandler: What an amazing opportunity to influence... dozens of people.
- In "The One with the Memorial Service", an escalating series of jokes between Chandler and Ross on a messaging site leads to Chandler spreading a story that Ross died from being "hit by a blimp".
  Chandler: It kills one Americans[sic] every year.
Game of Thrones: After convincing Lyanna Mormont to join his alliance against the Boltons, Jon Snow is slightly disappointed when she tells him her army amounts to... sixty-two men since House Mormont is a small (but brave nonetheless) clan.
The Golden Girls: This trope is in place during the dialogue regarding the previous winner of the "St. Olaf Woman Of The Year" award, who won by saving the local St. Olaf library books when said library was burning.
Blanche: That's amazing. How did she do that?
Rose: Well, she grabbed two books in one hand and one book in the other and ran like the Dickens.
Dorothy: Your library only has three books? What happens if someone's read them all?
Rose: I guess we'll cross the bridge when we get there.
How I Met Your Mother:
- In the episode "Little Minnesota", Ted and Marshall make a joke like this when discussing Minnesota.
  Ted: There aren't any black people in Minnesota?
  Marshall: Not if Prince is on tour.
- One episode had Robin making fun of her news program's low viewership.
  Ted: Who's going to watch the news, I'm like half your viewership.
  Robin: Oh, I'm flattered you think we have two viewers.
House, M.D., from "The Honeymoon", House doesn't appear to have many friends.
House: See, my old friends are telling me to be careful. They seem to think –
Stacy: He. And he sent me the bear.
One episode of My Family has Susan run for the local council, on a platform that turns out to be the exact opposite of what the locals want. When her opponent is declared the winner, Susan immediately and indignantly demands a recount. The adjudicator complies and counts them out loud: "One."
Mystery Science Theater 3000:
- "Reptilicus": At one point while watching Reptilicus, there's a shot of a single Danish Army jeep with four soldiers. Tom Servo quips, "I'm impressed! They rolled out the entire Danish Army."
- In "Time Chasers", the week's movie was filmed and set in Rutland, Vermont. Upon seeing an Establishing Shot resembling a Vermont tourism commercial, one of the SOL crew says, "Vermont: city on the go!"
- Again in Giant Spider Invasion, when Dr. Vance says that he called the National Guard to help deal with the titular spider, Mike adds "But he's not in!"
- An instance in "Bride of the Monster", when the police chief leads the raid on Vornoff's house with literally just a pair of officers:
  Chief: You men, surround the house.
  Crow: All two of you!
Reboot (2022): In the last episode, Hannah tells about when her indie movie was being released and some terrible producer cut the number of theaters in which it was screened in half... to two.
Red Dwarf, "Future Echoes": The crew experiences a phenomenon that Holly names "future echoes", pieces of the future that they are catching up with as a result of light speed. It foretells the future accurately. Rimmer sees Lister getting killed and Lister has some regrets about dying young. He claims he has never read... a book.
Dave Lister: It's not fair. There's loads of things I've never done. Like... I've never had a prawn vindaloo. And I've never read... [pauses to think] a book.
The Red Green Show: The crew discover a missile has been abandoned on the territory of Possum Lodge. Harold suggests reporting it to the proper authorities.
Red: Well, I'm not gonna be contacting the US Air Force, Harold. What do I say? "We've got a missile"? They take that as a threat, we're in real trouble.
Harold: Well, then, contact the Canadian Air Force.
Red: [exasperated] Harold, it's after six. He's gone home.
Whose Line Is It Anyway?: In a "Scenes From A Hat" game in the American version, there was the suggestion "Alternate names for Whose Line Is It, Anyway?". Ryan Stiles stepped up and said "It's time now for 'Drew and Friend'.", prompting host Drew Carey to say "I had no idea...".
World's Dumbest...: When a clip of an event with a small crowd is shown, this joke is usually said by someone.
Yes, Prime Minister: When Sir Humphrey gives a speech listing the important elements of British culture that the government must defend, the list includes "the universities... both of them".

Magazines

In Private Eye joke stories featuring Neasden F.C. (a bottom-tier football club whose problems uncannily mirrored what was happening in the English Premier League, only on a much smaller budget), reference would always be made to their supporters, Sid and Doris Bonkers.

Music

Dream Theater titled their greatest hits album "Greatest Hit (...And 21 Other Pretty Cool Songs)", joking about how most of their songs have never charted. This is likely due to them being too long, complex, and unsuitable for mainstream radio play. Typical greatest hits albums have more than one hit.
Reportedly jazz flautist Moe Koffman introduced Swinging Shepherd Blues as "a medley of my hit."
The self-effacing Danny Don't You Know by Ninja Sex Party has lead singer Dan Avidan narrate that "[I] send birthday invites, and now all [my] friend is here" when only one person (Arin Hanson) attends.

Podcasts

In House to Astonish: The Lightning Round Episode 13, covering Thunderbolts #s 34-37, they make a joke about the audience of Thunderwatch, Gayle Rogers's Thunderbolts-centric news show.
Al: So the Beetle is actually watching Gayle Rogers on the telly...
Paul: He's the one!

Puppet Shows

In The Sooty Show episode "Amateur Dramatics", Matthew is surprised to see only two people in the audience as Soo had told him that there were twice as many people before. She says that previously there was only one person in the audience and now there are two, so technically there's twice as many. Later, when they walk out in the middle of the play due to finding it boring, Matthew is embarrassed at having the "whole audience" walk out on him.

Radio

The Goon Show: In "The Great Bank Robbery", Grytpype deposits a mattress at the bank:
Grytpype: Good morning, cashier. We would like to open an account and pay [strains] in this mattress
Greenslade: Certainly, sir. I'll just count it.
[Boing!]
Greenslade: One. Yes, it's all here, sir.
I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: In a regular gag, the chairman uses variations of this joke to say the show has been deluged by an unprecedented number of letters, and it's from a Mrs Trellis of North Wales.
Letter writers to Terry Wogan's morning show would frequently reference "your other listener".

Stand-Up Comedy

In Gallagher's Melon Crazy, he comments on his perceived absurdity that both North and South Dakota are separate states, asking the audience if any of them are from North or South Dakota. When a few members cheer in the affirmative, he says, "Well, there ain't nobody there now! Did you turn off the light?"
Comic Dave Attell joked about learning that The Klan had a chapter in Alaska, of all places^note, and figured it was just a handful of angry rednecks who got together each week to go "C'mon, guys; we gotta get Eric!"

Video Games

Best of Three: When Helen tells Grant that she's not in touch with her friends from high school anymore, the Lemony Narrator adds, "All two of them."
The trivia game MindMaze that was part of Microsoft's Encarta encyclopedia tended to have a few of these in its flavour text, relating to the kingdom in which the game's castle setting resides as well as to its miserly monarch.
- One guy who the player finds stuck in a set of stocks claims that he was put there for making fun of the size of the kingdom's army. "The four of them" then proceeded to grab him, lock him in and leave him behind.
- A knight who the player encounters complains about the Limited Advancement Opportunities of working as a guard of the castle. Being the lieutenant of the guard doesn't sound too bad, he explains, until you realize there's only one other castle guard, and he's the captain.
Outer Wilds: When talking to Gabbro about getting below the current on Giant's Deep, they state "I tried everything I could think of to get past that current, and neither idea worked."
Poptropica: On Virus Hunter Island, a man at the gym appears to be out of breath and exercising hard. Talk to him, and he says it's been "the most painful three and a half minutes of my life."
Toontown: Corporate Clash: Played for Drama when Rainmaker says that she has more attacks (three) than she has friends.
In Undertale, Papyrus brags about his follower presence on the Underground's social media by saying he's "just a dozen [followers] away from a double-digit follower count." How he managed to get a total of -2 subscribers, we're never told.
Twice in The Very Big Cave Adventure, both in the Gotham City area.
- One in the Art Gallery:
  You are in the Art Gallery. It is featuring a special international exhibition of modern art. You are astounded to see that only three people are present.
  > EXAMINE PICTURES
  You examine the pictures. You are astounded that as many as three people are present.
- And the other in the Library:
  The entire literate population of Gotham City is here. She has a small Pekingese dog under her arm, called Toodloo.

Visual Novels

In Katawa Shoujo, Hisao is invited by Shizune and Misha to join the student council. He asks to meet the rest of the members, but Misha and Shizune keep brushing off the request. He quickly figures out why. Shizune's bossy behavior combined with Misha's Cloudcuckoolander behavior drove everyone else to quit. Misha and Shizune are the entire student council.

Web Animation

Battle for Dream Island Again: "Insectophobe’s Nightmare 4", After the contestants leave Flower's fashion shop when the Tennis Ball Recovery Center explodes from being filled up with bugs, Golf Ball calls out for all Team No-Name members despite there being only one other member with her (Tennis Ball).
Golf Ball: It's too chaotic here. DEAR ALL TEAM NO-NAME MEMBERS!
Tennis Ball: You can just say "Tennis Ball".
DEATH BATTLE!: Every episode, before the battle begins, Wiz says "The combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities." However, for the battle of SpongeBob SquarePants VS Superfriends Aquaman, due to how few legitimately impressive feats that version of Aquaman has, especially compared to anything SpongeBob can do through Toon Physics, the battle was clearly going to be an utter Curb-Stomp Battle in SpongeBob's favor. So instead, Wiz says "We've run the data through all possibility. One. One possibility."
In GEOWeasel, when Weas mentions that Nar's antics may have lost them some of their viewers, Nar responds with, "Both of them?!"
Homestar Runner:
- In the Strong Bad Email "old comics", the last strip of The Castlefunnies gives thanks to "all our reader": specifically, "Chester", a civil war veteran and creamed corn enthusiast.
- The Teen Girl Squad spinoff "4 Gregs" has Tompkins's website get "HAXXORED", to which he exclaims, "Ow! All my client!"

Webcomics

In Freefall, at one point they think of calling in the Army due to a potential calamity, but unfortunately, he's on vacation.
Grrl Power: Deus, when negotiating ("negotiating") with a Mozambique official, points out that if he has to fight to get what he wants, the resulting death toll will consist almost entirely of Mozambique citizens. He then offers condolences on their entire air force having been destroyed the last time they met him with force... all seven jets of it.
Leftover Soup: When describing how the story of the Ark led him to leave the creationist church he grew up in, Jamie refers to "both of all of the sloths".
One strip of Muertitos had a throwaway gag about an original Gonterman drawing being worth "tens of dozens of cents".
The Order of the Stick: One strip has Roy approach a chunk of starmetal he needs to reforge his sword, which looks bigger than him at first, but this turns out to be Forced Perspective: it's small enough to fit in his hand. However, when he brings it to the smith, it turns out to be plenty (a sword made of pure starmetal would be too heavy to lift and use the entire known supply of the stuff).
The Petri Dish:
- Thaddeus Euphemism makes a YouTube video of himself and expects it to get thousands of views but really it only gets seven views. Moreover, two of those were from himself watching it, four were from his assistant Bob watching it, and one was from a talking squirrel who was just watching it because it was bored.
- At one point, Thaddeus gets a fitness tracker, which reveals that he's only taken eleven steps. He then adds that maybe two of them were from when he sneezed really hard.
Penny Arcade: Tycho and L.H. Franzibald are guests at a convention. Upon entering the hall for their panel, Franzibald notes to Tycho, "I see all your fan turned up." And there is, indeed, a solitary "furnie" on one side of the room.

Web Videos

Mike Polk's "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video" has this:
Come on down to Cleveland-town everyone
Come and look at both of our buildings!
The Cry of Mann: When Jack becomes obsessed with working out and getting stronger, he makes a caller guess how many reps he did. The caller guesses 200... and Jack responds with "close, I did like, 30!"
Defunctland: In his Submarine Quest video, Kevin says that Sea World's overhyped opening on the day of Ocean Explorer was greeted by "dozens of guests who had waited minutes."
After JonTron left Game Grumps, a major Win Back the Crowd moment was when his replacement Dan Avidan told the following story:
"I once had a friend. And when he came over, my mother would say, 'Daniel! All your friend is here!'"
The Nostalgia Critic:
- His review of The Happening has him give his own interpretation of the movie's events started after noticing a nuclear power plant nearby a plant nursery.
Homer Simpson: D'oh! Mr. Burns, I'm afraid I caused The Happening!
Mr. Burns: Simpson, you idiot! Now we're trapped in an M. Night Shyamolian film! And not one of the good ones! Either of them!
- From his review of Barney's Great Adventure, when the Critic questions if the first scene of the titular film is the point-of-view from his blindfold after Barney kidnapped him:
Critic: [as Barney] Oh, boy! We're gonna make so much money ransoming off your body parts! Let's count how many toes you have left! One... that was fun! [laughs]
- In his review of The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland, there is a gag about very small audience.
Bert: Who are you talking to?
Ernie: The audience, Bert. They're right there.
Critic: [as Ernie] Both of them look very excited to be here.
In one PeanutButterGamer video (Top Ten Best Wii Games), PBG suddenly goes "missing" mid-way through and a news report reports that "tens and tens of people" are concerned about his absence.
Cinematic Excrement:
- In his review of The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, Smeghead reacts to Toni Braxton as Rosalie Rosebud sneezing without covering her mouth by criticising her for "teaching poor hygiene to the children who saw this movie — both of them!"
- In his review of Gigli, he says The Reveal about the nature of the romantic story (which wasn't advertised in its trailers) "must have shocked the hell out of the three or four people who saw this movie in theaters."
In "Every Single Scandinavian Crime Drama", one character says that the killer could be anyone in Helgasund- over seven people.
RemyRaccoon: In his "Everything Wrong With Ratchet and Clank (The Movie)" video (which is unfortunately no longer accessible on YouTube), Vale claims the Spiral of Death is fired towards the camera only to make sure "the three people who saw this movie in 3D got their money's worth".
Seanbaby had one while describing how (relatively) Unskilled, but Strong Kazuyuki Fujita was in his fight against Wanderlei Silva.
The fight was a massacre. Fujita tried every both of his techniques against Wanderlei. He slowly waited to get punched and laid on top of him without doing anything. Neither worked, and Wanderlei eventually got to his feet and stalked Fujita like a Japanese octopus in an all-female prison. He hit him as hard as you can hit someone, many times. And every time Fujita fell down, Silva kicked him in the head as if he was going for a 70-yard field goal. None of this did anything!

Western Animation

The Amazing World of Gumball: "The Potato", when Darwin has lunch with Idaho, he decides to stop eating potatoes in solidarity with his brotato, but he finds his obsession with his favorite food harder to kick than he ever imagined, so Gumball and Sarah help him curb his carb cravings. Sarah suggests going to Mr. Small's therapy club, which is revealed to just be him and Sarah. Gumball complains about this:
Mister Small: Is everyone here? Good. Welcome to the therapy group.
Gumball: Wait, it's just you guys? You can't be a group of two. That's a duo.
Mister Small: Well, I just thought "duo therapy" sounded weird.
Gumball: It is weird.
Duckman with a bit of Biting-the-Hand Humor:
Bernice: USA? Are they on at night?
Duckman: Are you kidding? Dozens of people watch USA!
Futurama:
- "My Three Suns" both uses and lampshades this when Leela reveals to Fry that, as the new emperor, he's extremely likely to be assassinated soon:
  Leela: Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
  Fry: Uh ... 80,000 years?
  Leela: No, one week!
  Fry: Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.
- Donbot introduces his two henchmen as "the entire robot mafia". So the criminal organization consists of the boss Donbot and goons Clamps and Joey Mousepad.
- In "A Head in the Polls", the TV news describes the election results for the Earth presidential campaign:
  Linda: The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to its highest level in centuries. Six percent!
One post-opening sequence line from Garfield and Friends was "Today, a look into our writer's joke file. That's right, we examine both jokes."
King of the Hill: Dale in one episode is being challenged for leadership of the local gun club, leading to this line:
Dale: Mad Dog's running for president. He's already got the black vote: Earl. And the gay vote... Earl.
In the MAD sketch, "Life of Rhyme", Piscine Molitor says that being trapped on a lifeboat with The Cat in the Hat is the worst thing that's ever happened to him, and that he was one of the ten people who saw The Oogieloves.
The California Raisins 1988 claymation television special "Meet the Raisins", one of the Raisins says of their first movie, "Everyone who saw it liked it." Another member adds, "I talked to both of them myself."
The Patrick Star Show: In "Pat-a-thon", during Patrick's telethon, we prominently see a big counter in the background of money raised so far. There's enough space on it to fit a few hundred thousand dollars. When Patrick does raise money, it's... exactly one cent. By the end of the episode, this has been reversed, with a total of negative one cents on the counter.
The Simpsons:
- The Springfield Police Department sometimes do have a large force (even if we only know the names of three). At other times it is explicit they're just three people: Chief Wiggum, and his subordinates Eddie and Lou.
  Wiggum: We gotta get the whole force on this!
  Lou: Chief, we are the whole force.
  Wiggum: OK, we gotta start recruiting, Lou!
- "Lisa's Substitute": Bart's class is about to elect a class president. Bart gets nominated and he wins the class over by telling jokes and other gimmicks. Certain of Bart's victory, they forget about voting, including Bart. So it happens that Martin wins with just two votes, his own and Wendell's.
- "Homer Badman": Homer tries to salvage his reputation on public access television, and the technician gets everyone's hopes up by making them think people were listening.
  Technician: The switchboards are lighting up!
  Simpson family: Yay!
  Technician: Two calls! That's our best ever.
  [he answers the first call]
  Technician: Hello? No, Janice doesn't live here.
  [he hangs up and answers the second call]
  Technician: Hello? Yes, I am interested in long-distance savings. Very interested.
- In "The Bart Wants What It Wants", Rainer Wolfcastle drives to the Simpsons' house in an enormous SUV, and Homer asks about its fuel economy.
  Homer: What kind of mileage does it get?
  Rainer Wolfcastle: 1 highway, 0 city.
- In "Missionary: Impossible", Homer and Bart are watching Do Shut Up, a British sitcom on PBS, when it's interrupted by the PBS pledge drive.
  PBS Guy: (chuckling) Classic. Not hard to see why it's England's longest-running series, and today, we're showing all seven episodes.
- In "My Fair Laddy", Lisa's wall of sports awards consists of a single bowling participation ribbon. When she wins a science fair ribbon, she puts it on the wall.
  Lisa: (giggles) Now you have a friend!
Steven Universe:
- "Rising Tides, Crashing Skies": After the end shows Steven and the Crystal Gems watched Ronaldo's video, Pearl asks how many people have seen it, and Amethyst points out they're its only view. To add salt to the wound, Ronaldo's Character Blog reveals it was taken down immediately afterwards by content ID bots.
- "Dewey Wins": A video of Dewey getting pelted by a tomato is put online and only gets a dozen views, not that Dewey is consoled ("That's half the town!").
The gag credit for the Tiny Toon Adventures episode, "Viewer Mail Day" is: "Thanks to our loyal viewers — both of you".
The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: In "Do You, Princess Toadstool, Take This Koopa...", Koopa decides to invite all his friends to his wedding and the subordinate ordered to send the invitations is surprised at the idea of Koopa having friends. Koopa claims he does have friends but, unable to recall anyone, decides to invite his mother and nobody else.

Real Life

J.D. Shapiro, the screenwriter of Battlefield Earth, accepted the film's Golden Raspberry Award for the worst film of the 2000s decade, and in his speech he issued a heartfelt thank-you to "the dozens and dozens of people... who went to see the movie."
When 30 Rock first won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series, Tina Fey thanked "our dozens and dozens of viewers."
When John Brown led a slave rebellion at Harper's Ferry that ended in him being captured and put on trial for treason, Congressman Thaddeus Stevens (R-PA) reportedly declared that Brown deserved to be hanged... because "he attempted to capture Virginia with seventeen men when he ought to know it would require at least twenty-five." (Stevens, like Brown, was a hardline abolitionist, so naturally he only opposed Brown's failure, even though consensus at the time among Northerners was that Brown was a nutjob, a fanatic, and a criminal.)

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