Funny / Dead Meat

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Funny moments within The Kill Count go here.

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

• James got the very special opportunity to interview Jamie Lee Curtis and Judy Greer about their work in Halloween. At the end of the interview, he asks them to say hello to Chelsea, who wasn't able to be there at the the interview. Since James mentions they're engaged, Jamie asks about their wedding and offers to officiate, and James has to tell her excitedly they already have another horror legend, Heather Langenkamp of A Nightmare on Elm Street, as their officiant. Jamie's reaction?
  Jamie Lee Curtis (facetiously): Okay, fuck you. Bye, have fun, whatever.
• The Horror Royal Rumble. It's a setup in the game WWE 2K19 where Chelsea has painstakingly created character models for 30 horror characters, and James and Chelsea comment blind over the AI-directed royal rumble match (new contestants enter at regular intervals and can be eliminated at any point by the ones who have already been there). The characters themselves add a lot of humor when their interactions play out, and the entrance sequences are also pretty hilarious how they've been crafted.
  • One of the first two contestants is Demon Winter, and naturally, the intro music given to him is the "Disco Enchiladas" remix of his pooping duet that James and Chelsea have spotlighted multiple times before.
  • Brenda Meeks is an entrant fairly early, and proves to have remarkable staying power in the match, as well as a record five opponent eliminations, fitting her Bugs Bunny-esque inexplicable endurance from her film series very well.
  • One of the contestants is Stephen King, entering a ring which includes Tim Curry's Pennywise. James and Chelsea are delighted the two ended up in the ring together, and duly thrilled when King pretty quickly dispatches his own creation and eliminates the clown singlehandedly.
  • Chef Julian Slowik is introduced with the viral Lil' Jon remix of "Cooking by the Book".
  • Naturally, because this was Chelsea's brainchild, one of the contestants is Vince Vaughn's Norman Bates. Not only was the crowd made to boo him during the intro, but Norman is eliminated 15 seconds after entering the ring, with James and Chelsea attributing this to his unpopularity making the other fighters boot him quickly.
  • Due to a glitch, Pearl at one point seems levitate over Ripley while performing a move, to James and Chelsea's bemusement. And later, when Pearl manages to toss Ripley out of the ring, they need a replay on it, because at first glance it looked to them like Ripley had accidentally tossed herself out.
  • Samara Morgan's character model has been given a tendency to perform frequent taunts, lending the ominous little ghost girl much more of a pesky and hilariously obnoxious personality in the wrestling ring.
  • When Corey Cunningham gets eliminated in short order after his entry and the crowd cheers, James cites real life reactions to the character by saying that he might have been more popular if introduced two Rumbles sooner.
  • Ricky "Jupe" Park has the second-fastest elimination in the match at 18 seconds, fitting for his character's dangerously misguided swagger.
  • As the embodiment of fandom gone too far, Annie Wilkes' theme music is "Stan".
  • At the end of the match, James and Chelsea reveal there was another recorded rumble match they couldn't use, because one of the contestants was accidentally swapped out for real WWE wrestler and pre-set game character R-Truth, causing a jarring moment where the intro completely broke the fantasy matchup. Still, Chelsea admits she would have enjoyed that being sprung on them as part of the match they used, and commenters note that R-Truth wandering into the horror rumble by complete accident would be perfectly in-character.
• Since the 2023 Horror Royal Rumble was a major hit, the rumbles would become annual. The 2024 follow-up rumble has much more chuckles to behold:
  • The second person in happens to be Slow Ass Muthafuckin' Jeff himself, and he lives up to the nickname the second he walks onto the crosswalk, taking a comical amount of time entering the ring. Ironically, he managed to survive the longest out of the first several contestants, only getting eliminated by the returning Brenda Meeks. He also takes out the first person who entered the ring, John Kramer, which James and Chelsea realize is appropriate since canonically Jeff was the one who finally killed Kramer.
  • When Valak enters the ring, James and Chelsea joke that the reason she's here is because of Trash having shown up to the ring buck-naked.^note Or at least, as naked as the character creator would let her be.
  • James and Chelsea are very confused when upon Herbert West's entrance into the ring, his coat is suddenly shiny. They comment on it several times, and when he's eliminated, tell him to go figure out what's wrong with it.
  • Their Stunned Silence when Nancy Thompson is eliminated mere seconds after stepping into the ring, and to rub it in, she was the next entry after her Arch-Enemy Freddy Krueger, who just got eliminated.
• The FeardotCom episode. James and Chelsea's complete bafflement at the plot and any internal logical consistency: Who bought the website? How does the website maintain its viewership if it kills off everyone who watches it? Or is that a different website that doesn't kill you? How did a $40 million production not manage to get fear.com as the website instead of feardotcom.com? Even their camera guy, who is familiar with many strange plot summaries, interjects to call the plot "batshit." They all chalk it up the movie being an early 2000s movie about the Internet.
  • One moment gets them particularly slaphappy, when a weird line from the film's killer has both James and Chelsea to say "Define birth!" in a manner similar to The New Day, causing James to almost fall out of his chair.
• Both their reactions to finding out how high they placed Officer Dorf and Dieter Perez in their ranking of Friday the 13th side characters.
  • Them discussing Dieter in general is hilarious. They don't know his name, so they just call him by descriptors.
• From the 2025 Royal Rumble:
  • Jack Delroy is very fittingly the first elimination, after not landing a single blow.
  • They're both outraged at Isaac Chroner managing to eliminate two very popular contestants in Ash Williams and Dani Ardor, and wonder if He Who Walks Behind The Rows is actually real. Thankfully, David Powers adds to his record of the most eliminations by taking out Isaac shortly afterward.
  • Michael Myers dishes out no fewer than four tombstone piledrivers across his time in the ring, which James notes fits well with his putting a tombstone in Laurie's bed.
  • M. Night Shyamalan makes his entrance from the audience, which Chelsea had forgotten she'd set up and cracks up about, while James notes he presumably was just attending as a regular fan when he unexpectedly got called down to the ring. He proceeds to knock out Art the Clown, causing Cheslea to make an adorable kitten laugh.
  • Super Freddy is included to James' extreme displeasure. And rather fittingly, out of three rumbles with 29 eliminations each, his is the only one to date that James and Chelsea both completely miss, only noticing when the next one happens while he's still outside the ring.
  • Chelsea makes up for using Vince Vaughn's Norman Bates two years ago by putting in the original this time, complete with the same very feminine entrance pose used for Aunt Martha the previous year.
  • Jason Voorhees has a penchant for using a two-handed blow that sends his opponent flying into the air in a very cartoonish way, with it happening to Samuel Loomis both times it lands, which makes James and Chelsea laugh their heads off each time.
  • Fred Durst is included due to his role As Himself in Y2K (2024), and comes hair-raisingly close to actually winning, which James and Chelsea noted in their Survivor podcast shortly afterward would probably have gone down horribly with their fans.
• The podcast episode for Saw II
  • When discussing the traps that are laid out for the SWAT team, Chelsea recalls a Reddit user dubbing one of the machines “The Knee-Smasher 3000.” They also wonder if John’s ever forgotten about any of his traps and walked into them while getting his oatmeal.
  • Chelsea reveals that Tobin Bell smiled at Zoran’s baby son at Monsterpalooza and said “He’s happy.” Graessle imagines that baby Phoenix will watch the Saw movies too young, be traumatized, and then be told that John Kramer smiled at him when he was a baby.
  • Chelsea points out how unfair it would have been to all the other Jigsaw-survivors if Eric had kept a level head and won without any physical damage done to him.
    Chelsea: Dude, I’d be so pissed though if I, like, survived a Saw trap and I’m talking to someone else who survived a Saw trap and I’m like “Yeah, man, I had to literally dig out my own eyeball and get a key to unlock this thing from my head,” and they’re like “Yeah, I just kind of sit there and talk to an old man for two hours.” Like, what the fuck?!
    Graessle: “I just, like, took a couple deep breaths, you know, like, calmed down, and yeah-”
    James: “You don’t get it, the old guy was really, like, sanctimonious.”
    Chelsea: Or just “You know, I really thought about what the tape said and realized it was a play on words, and it actually was really easy and I solved a combination lock.” Fuck off!
    • As more and more of Eric’s past comes to light, the group asks again why he wasn’t given his own trap.
      James (as John Kramer): “Well listen, I don’t know if you know this, but being a cop is a very stressful, dangerous job, so I feel like they already put the- If you think about it, every day on the streets is kind of a Saw trap!”
  • “Meanwhile, Eric Matthews is beating up an old man with cancer.”
  • James and Chelsea say that Saw 2.5 should be about the tech team and why it took them the entire movie to get to the house after they were called.
• The podcast episode for Saw 3D
  • Most of the group’s discussion for the public trap is comedy gold.
    • When they first start discussing the placement of the public torture trap, Chelsea expresses her frustration that none of the people in-universe seem to notice the trap until a specific moment, and she compares it to spawning a food stand in RollarCoaster Tycoon. James then starts giving advice on how to score well in the game.
    • Chelsea says that if anyone actually saw the public Saw trap nowadays, they’d just ask if it was a pop-up for Netflix.
      Chelsea: I think it’s for that new season of Squid Game!
    • When discussing how the logic of getting the victims into the trap makes no sense:
      Chelsea: “Fuck, we were on MTV Spring Break and passed out and ended up here!”
      Graessle: “Why'd we go to Cityton for Spring Break?!”
      Chelsea: I feel so- Whatever MTV DJ was assigned to Cityton for Spring Break-
      James: Oh, dude, yeah. That was the guy who, like, swore on air accidentally. They're like “Dude, you got us fined. You're going down to Cityton.”
  • Chelsea points out that the concept of a guy pretending to be the survivor of a serial killer’s murder spree sounds like an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The editors then greenscreen clips of the show’s characters into locations from the Saw movies.
  • Graessle submits his theory that some of the trap-survivors in the support group were plants for a TV spot because of how their descriptions of the traps don’t make sense, especially with the lawnmower trap victims.
    Graessle: Never happened, man. I’m saying it, I’m tellin’ ya, never happened!
    James: How did they wind up in that position?! Did they wake up hanging from a position?! That doesn’t make sense!
    Chelsea: No lawnmower available at a consumer level’s able to shred a person that fast! It’s not possible!
  • The group voices their doubts that Jill’s method of declaring immunity actually works.
    James: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
    Chelsea: I DECLARE IMMUNITYYYYYYY!
    James: They’re like “From what?” and she’s like “I don’t know, but just in case!”
    Chelsea: “Nothing I was involved with!”
    Graessle: “I’ve been an accessory to many murders, now give me immunity!”
  • James describes one scene as Hoffman being in a “Build-A-Billy Workshop.” The group then imagines the different messages you could leave for whenever someone squeezes Billy’s hand, including a death threat and a marriage proposal.
    • James and Chelsea reveal that they’ve unironically considered renewing their marriage vows and having Billy on his tricycle as the ring bearer.
• Sawvivor
  • The group proposes a group Saw trap featuring the Backstreet Boys, taking place in the same mansion from the music video for “Everybody (Backstreet's Back)” where they were dressed as monsters. They are still dressed as monsters while in the trap.
    James: “Hello, Backstreet Boys. You have called yourselves boys for decades. Are you ready to be Backstreet Men?”
  • Instead of Fiji, the season takes place on “generic tropical island Islandton.”
  • When introducing the contestants of Jigsaw Tribe, James finishes with Dr. Lawrence Gordon (he’s a doctor). Chelsea says that he needs to stop saying Gordon’s full name. James then introduces all of Trap Tribe: Slow-ass motherfuckin’ Jeff, scary-ass motherfuckin’ Xavier, fake-ass motherfuckin’ Bobby, babygirl-ass motherfuckin’ Adam, smart-ass motherfuckin’ Lyn, and mean-ass motherfuckin’ Cecilia.
  • After Hoffman gets voted out, Chelsea recalls a time where she received a bunch of friendship bracelets at a convention and then went out to dinner with a friend and their five-year old daughter. Chelsea went from laughing at the daughter playing with the friendship bracelets to yanking one away in a panic after realizing that the five-year old was playing with a bracelet labelled “Hoffman Whore.”
  • When gathering all the remaining contestants for the tribal merge, James and Chelsea unknowingly lose Ezekiel Banks’s card, causing them to leave him out of the rest of the game.
    Chelsea: We left Zeke on the beach!
    • In the final round, all seems lost when the hosts can’t decide who to vote out. In walks Zeke in a Saw-style twist, ready to break the tie. He was apparently found swimming in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
  • As soon as Chelsea announces that the contestants will be riding tiny tricycles, Graessle excitedly announces that “This is the moment for tiny little weirdo Zep Hindle.”
    James: “My knees don’t hit the handlebars! I have an advantage!”
    • James says that he likes to imagine that there would be a Billy pace car for the staff time.
    • The Saw theme song (“Hello Zep”) intensifies as Zep crosses the finish line
      Chelsea: “It’s named after me! It’s my song!”
      James: “John! I can be a very fascinating man, too!”