"That's So F*cking Annoying": People Are Revealing The "Innocent" Behaviors That Are Actually Huge Red Flags, And A Lot Of These Are Spot On

    "While it seems pleasant, it often means they’re suppressing emotions to avoid conflict, manipulate perceptions, or hide resentment."

    Raven Ishak
    by Raven Ishak

    BuzzFeed Staff

    The truth is, a lot of people might not realize some of the things they do are actually huge personality red flags. So when I saw Reddit user seenmee ask: "What’s an 'innocent' behavior that’s actually a huge red flag if you really think about it?" so many people shared their thoughts on the matter. Here's what they said below:

    1. "The more someone tells me they’re a good person, the less I believe them."

    Two people sitting at a table, engaged in a board game. They appear to be having a lively discussion, with a board and cards spread out before them
    Fiordaliso / Getty Images

    —scytheintern

    "Exactly! If you're truly a good person, you don't need to advertise it; your actions should speak louder than your self-branding."

    —seenmee

    2. "Overly agrees with everything I say. It feels fake sometimes."

    —ClairesFlair

    3. "When someone keeps acting dumb. After a while, it feels like they're lazy and finding excuses not to do something."

    Two people working together at a table with laptops, smiling and engaged in conversation
    Momo Productions / Getty Images

    —akaram369

    "'Haha, I'm bad at computers.'

    My dude, this is literally part of your job. Stop asking me to 'just do this' for you.

    (They've stopped because I won't. I'll just stand beside them and give instructions while they complain. Yes, I do type faster than you do; I'm still making you do it yourself and will continue to ask why you can't remember how to log in to your own email.)"

    —bungojot

    4. "Not taking 'No' for an answer and being very insistent. They often feign generosity and hospitality."

    —Yeyati_Nafrey

    "This is a huge red flag.

    Predator: 'Here, let me help you.'
    Prey: 'No thanks. I've got it.'
    Pred: 'It's alright. I can get it for you.'
    Prey: 'I can do it.'
    Pred: 'I know, but here...' and they take over.

    They are testing your boundaries. If you are polite and step back to let them take over, they will keep doing that over and over and more often and on bigger things until they are telling you what to wear, how to walk, who to see, what to eat... They have found someone they can manipulate with persistence."

    —OlyVal

    5. "Thinking 'I’m sorry' fixes everything."

    Hands writing "Sorry" on a pink sticky note with a marker, placed on a yellow surface
    Javier Zayas Photography / Getty Images

    —wheatable

    "I will forever think of Bojack Horseman about this:

    You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself, like that makes it ok. You need to BE. BETTER."

    —moekakiryu

    6. "When someone is always a victim. Every victim needs a villain. Hang around long enough, and it will be you."

    —BlackcatLucifer

    "Not only is this very true, but also very well said.

    There are victims, there are people who pressure everyone else to the point that they fail or give up, and there are people who blame others for everything that goes wrong in their lives."

    —AllTheWine05

    7. "Gossiping. When someone likes to gossip a lot about other people to you, you can bet that they will also gossip about you behind your back when you are not around."

    Person using a laptop in the foreground, while two people in the background look on curiously from behind a desk with office lamps
    Sven Hagolani / Getty Images

    —SageandStrong33

    "My grandpa always says people who spend their time gossiping about other people have nothing interesting to tell about themselves."

    —Annual_Security3484

    8. "'Not wanting to get involved,' especially if it's the buIIshit they started and need to fix, but they refuse to do so and leave other people to fix it for them."

    —redded1234567

    9. "Whipping out their phone and scrolling social media in the middle of a shared experience."

    Person with braided hair sitting in a chair, wearing headphones, and looking at a smartphone
    Fiordaliso / Getty Images

    —Kimihro

    "God, that's so fucking annoying.

    One of my friends in high school was like that, and I was secretly happy when her parents confiscated her phone for like a year or whatever. I don't even remember why that happened, I just remember it did, and she was way more present than before."

    —SuperSocialMan

    10. "People who only know you for a few minutes and already start asking super personal questions."

    —okbuddy05

    "The opposite is true, too, regarding people who you've only known for a few minutes revealing really personal information that you never inquired about."

    —Veelze

    11. “'Easy going' could be a gateway to 'apathetic' or 'avoidant' or just mentally draining."

    Two people walking down a brick-lined corridor, one carrying a backpack and a bottle, the other holding books. They are in casual attire
    Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images

    —gobbledegook-

    12. "Making remarks on other people's looks."

    —Impossible-Poetry-80

    13. "'OMG, I have like NO filter haha.' Ah, so you lack self-control and don't consider how your actions affect others. Have a nice day. I'll be over here."

    Two people laugh together outdoors. One wears a blue sweater with layered jewelry, the other a jean jacket over a ribbed top
    Tim Robberts / Getty Images

    —Zrin-K

    14. "Giving grown people advice when they did not ask for it."

    —Eizler

    "There is a difference between the advisers who want to share knowledge and advisers who want to briefly feel superior. Funniest thing is, it does not reflect on the quality of information provided at all."

    —ikadell

    15. "A friend telling me someone else was talking shit about me and what they said. First of all, why did they feel so comfortable talking badly about me in front of or to you?"

    Two people sitting on a couch at home, one holding a mug. They are casually dressed and appear engaged in conversation
    Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images

    —CRYSTALKATJA

    "The only time it’s appropriate to discuss with you is when they follow it up with everything they said back to defend you/make them back off."

    —Meggyasaur

    16. "Someone who never gets angry or disagrees. While it seems pleasant, it often means they’re suppressing emotions to avoid conflict, manipulate perceptions, or hide resentment."

    —PaulaAllen1

    "Hey there, someone here who never gets angry and rarely disagrees. Dunno if it helps understand why some people do this, but here’s my perspective:

    I can’t identify emotions, so they don’t come naturally as responses. A lot of the time, I have to try and do detective work to figure out what I’m feeling or what I should be feeling.

    Another thing is that I’ve never seen a disagreement end well. The only experience I have is of them spiralling and turning into a poo flinging contest and people getting hurt. I see no cognitive or practical use for engaging in disagreements, and especially not arguments. I am always looking to avoid conflict, but I don’t hold resentment because that’s my choice to avoid them."

    —galsfromthedwarf

    17. And finally, "People who don’t put their shopping carts away."

    An empty shopping cart casts a long shadow in a parking lot during sunset
    Mrs / Getty Images

    —stanleyisapotato

    Is there another innocent behavior that secretly indicates a huge red flag? Tell us what it is and why in the comments or anonymously in the Google Form below: