Chapter Text
Jaune Arc kicked back and relaxed. The combined strength of Team RWBY, JNPR (which now had Penny Polendina among its ranks), and Ace Ops had defeated Salem’s attempt to derail the launching of Amity Tower. Of course, that would bring its own share of issues, since now the world knew that it was under threat from an immortal Grimm Queen, but Jaune reckoned that tomorrow could take care of itself. For now, it was not his problem and not his beringals.
It was also late. Once the battle was over, the badly battered Team RWBY had retired to nurse their wounds and get some rest. JNPR wasn’t in much better shape, but they volunteered to help Ace Ops clean up the mess that Arthur Watts and Tyrian Callows had left behind. It was now well after midnight, so Jaune decided he would unwind by watching a movie on his Scroll—Spruce Willis had released Try Hard 3: Now That’s a Katana, and Jaune hadn’t seen it yet. As he settled onto his bed at Atlas Academy, Jaune considered inviting Weiss Schnee over, then dismissed it. The poor girl had taken more than a few hits, and she needed her rest.
There was a knock at the door. Jaune looked up from his Scroll. “Yeah?”
“Jaune? It’s Oscar. Do you have a minute?”
“Oh, sure! Come on in, man. It’s open.”
Oscar Pine walked in and closed the door behind him. He had on his pants, but that was all—no shirt and no shoes, not even the orange gloves the former farmer habitually wore. He looked utterly spent. Jaune could understand why: Oscar had dived into the fight without hesitation, taking on Watts’ hacked Atlesian Knights with Ozpin’s cane. It was a lot for a young man to take, all the more impressive since Oscar didn’t have a Semblance. Oscar seemed on the verge of collapse. He was limping, wincing with every step. “You okay?” Jaune asked.
“No.”
“You need to go to the hospital?” Jaune wondered if Oscar needed some help getting there.
“Not sure yet. Just wanted to know…you can help people’s Aura heal, right? You did that with Weiss.”
Jaune nodded. “Yeah, I can do that. Not really a doctor or healer or anything, but I can kind of jumpstart your Aura to help you heal faster. But if you’re in that bad of shape, you really need to go to the hospital. The Schnees will pay for it—“
Oscar decided to show rather than tell. Before Jaune could stop him, he unzipped and dropped his pants. He wore nothing beneath the pants. “What the hell, Oscar?! I don’t want to see that--“ Jaune began, but then he saw in horror Oscar’s flaccid member. It looked like it had been run through a wringer. There were no open wounds, but it was bright red, as if it was sunburned. His groin looked bruised, as did his testicles, which seemed a bit swollen on top of it. “Holy cats, Oscar!” Jaune exclaimed. “What happened to you? Did a Grimm nut shot you and we didn’t notice?”
“No, a Grimm didn’t hit me.” Oscar sighed, and he flinched with the pain. He covered himself with his hands, but was careful not to touch. “So we just fought a big battle, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Barely survived, again.”
“Oh yeah. You really did great today, Oscar. I mean, Ruby would be hurt or dead if you hadn’t one-shotted that robot. But that doesn’t explain—“
“About Ruby. You know we’ve gotten really close, right?”
“Well, sure. She really likes you.”
“Tonight, after we got back, she wanted to take our relationship to the next level.”
“Oh yeah?” Jaune grinned. He was always happy to hear when one of his friends found love. He hadn’t been very lucky in that regard himself. “Congrats, Oscar! Ruby is a great girl. I hope you guys can…” The light came on in Jaune’s head. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Oscar painfully sat down. “It was Ruby’s first time, and she got on top, and well…she got a little…enthusiastic. Making love on a bed of rose petals was nice, but the speed…” Oscar bit back tears. “The speed, Jaune. The friction.”
“Her Semblance went off?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Jaune was sickened. It would’ve been like having sex with a blender. Set on puree. “Wasn’t there…well…lubrication?”
“Sure, but it didn’t help. I think it might’ve made it a little worse. It was like hot oil, you know, down there.” He nodded towards his crotch. “Anyway, can you help me heal this?”
Jaune picked up his scroll and began dialing for emergency services. “No way. That needs a professional, and I’m not getting anywhere near that. Besides, you need protection.”
“Ruby said she had one of those new Atlesian injections.”
“Not from getting Ruby pregnant,” Jaune warned. “From—“
The door suddenly caved in. Standing in the threshold was an enraged Yang, hair glowing, eyes burning an unholy red. “OSCAR!”
Jaune calmly got up and walked to the opposite side of the room. “—from that,” he finished.
Yang’s eyes fixed onto Oscar, and if they could glow any hotter, they did when they saw his pants around his ankles. “Don’t bother running,” she hissed. “You’ll only die tired.”
Deep within Oscar’s mind, Ozpin sighed. He hoped his next incarnation would be older and wiser. He also knew he was likely to find out in about five seconds.